It’s My Turn #4: In Which Pettigrew Takes Umbrage at his Recent Treatment & Clarifies the Need for Barking

waiting at back doorDon’t get me wrong. I love my family. I really do. But they haven’t been at their best the past few weeks. So, last night I took steps to get them back on track.

They had left me alone with only a dog walker for a few days. Unacceptable. So, with my keen sense of smell I unearthed a leather glove hidden at the bottom of a bag. I chewed the glove up. Then, I knocked a few items off the desk and chewed them up too. But my coup de grâce was dragging the scraps and arranging them in the kitchen doorway. This morning I pointed so they would be sure to see them. Maybe I’m part Pointer! Who knew? I think they got the

chewed checkbook
Chewed corner of checkbook cover.


Last weekend they were clearly getting ready for a hike, but left me at home. I gave them a pass then because I hadn’t appreciated that their behavior was part of an alarming pattern. For how that played out see Pettigrew Will Never Pass as a Service/Guide Dog.

But two weeks ago, on this very blog, they posted a travesty Just because my dog is barking doesn’t mean I know you are at my front door. And, since they involved you in their misinformation campaign, I am writing my own post to shed some light on the issue.

First off, I have to explain that my family is, at times, naïve. It’s a miracle they’ve made it this far.

Take security for instance. Or, should I say, lack of security?!

They leave the house for hours at a time. No one’s here. Anything could happen.

intruderEven when they are home, they spend a lot of time upstairs. The windows. The doors. I ask you, who’s guarding them? Anyone could walk right up to the house and my family would be none the wiser. I bark and bark to let them know someone is coming and they don’t even check.

They’ve grown complacent. They assume I’ll take care of problems that arise. They have no idea how many people I have to drive away every day! They’d be shocked if they knew even a fraction of it.

Sometimes people coming to the house hear me barking and instead of walking to the door, toss the package on to the porch and then hurry back down the stairs. I’m that good. This old dog has still got it. No one is going to get by my defenses.

In fact, even though they all but abandoned me this weekend, I struck fear into the heart of a visitor so that he threw his package on to the porch. I’m loyal.

Other times, we have a problem. I bark, but the person keeps on coming. By the time they ring the doorbell, it’s too late. The damage is done. Apparently, my family had invited someone over, but neglected to tell me.

So I have go outside and rub everyone’s legs to make sure they understand there are no hard feelings and they are welcome in the house.

In general, however, they’re pretty nice as far as families go. Good grub. Some cuddles. A few walks. I trust that the corrective measures I took this morning will get everyone back to normal soon.



12 thoughts on “It’s My Turn #4: In Which Pettigrew Takes Umbrage at his Recent Treatment & Clarifies the Need for Barking

  1. Pettigrew appreciates your recognizing his innate intelligence and hopes his family gets back on track soon. There’s only so much of this bad behavior he is prepared to tolerate before he will be forced to take drastic measures!


  2. Outstanding! What fun — so many laughs in this post. Your skill at entering the minds of non verbal beings is truly wonderful, a pure delight. Many thanks.


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